Person: I feel like my partner is hurting me, but I want to be fair, so let me seek outside opinions, as is best practice
Everyone and their dog: yup, you sure are justified in feeling hurt by that and the mountain of other things your SO has done and continues to do.
Person: that’s not what I wanted to hear at all.
Person looks like they are enacting a truthseeking protocol, but they still have an answer in mind and are searching for that rather than the truth. If they actually wanted the truth they would stop when people unanimously told them they were right.* It’s essentially self gas-lighting, where people look for reasons to undercut their own beliefs because they don’t want them to be true.
*There are cases where this is not true, but these aren’t them.